Why Are You Here? Screaming Into the Void

Becoming ready, able and willing to be there for other alcoholics

I’m not sure why any of you are still following along and reading this. If I’m being truly honest, I’m quite perplexed. I continue to write and create the podcast to scratch an itch of my own. I’m doing this to sort out and work through what has transpired in my life over the past 12 plus years, but more specifically the last 14 months, to ensure that I’m setting my course for a lifetime in recovery.

But why are YOU here? Yes, my Mom likely feels a motherly duty to follow along and be an amazing cheerleader every few days about this (minus the post about pooping in public), but the rest of you straight up confuse me.

But then, every now and again, something amazing happens because of this writing or podcasting. Someone reaches out. They indicate there is some level of chaos, of unmanageability, in their lives that they need help sorting out. They are lost and have no clue who to turn to and having Chapter 3 Stigma exist has been the only reason others have known that I’m approachable on this topic. So they step up and take action.

Last week this happened to me in the most unexpected way from the most unexpected source. I agreed to take a call with someone that I assumed had a close family member or loved one struggling. I knew enough about this person to know they were strong, confident and had everything in place in their life. Surely they had hit a point with a brother, or significant other, where they just did not know how to handle the situation.

Instead, this individual opened up about their own struggles in life and how it has led them to drink consistently and in a manner that they felt was becoming unmanageable. They gave me the full run down, laying it all out on the table. They were completely honest. I was in awe.

What happened next was a beautiful connection and conversation between two individuals who had previously been respectful acquaintances but suddenly had this shared bond and experience. The mutual trust and admiration that was built in less than 30 minutes is something that is difficult to describe to anyone who hasn’t had the opportunity to connect with someone who has suffered in the same manner as you have. It’s uplifting, freeing and inspires the most incredible amount of hope.

I’m still processing what that conversation and experience meant to me. It has caused a realization for me about my own journey that I am no longer clinging to the edge of the cliff. In fact, I have the tools, the experience and the capability to hear a cry for help and to walk to the cliff edge and extend a helping hand to anyone who is in the position that I was in over 14 months ago.

Here’s the fact - it’s not just me that approaches the edge of the cliff alone. It’s the backing of my entire community with the ultimate foundation of my strength being my personal relationship with God. I no longer fear as I did the day that I left rehab and so I understand how to navigate the risky situation of engaging with another alcoholic without the risk of it causing me to slip back into my destructive mindset and behaviors. It’s a freedom that I wish everyone struggling could realize in their lives someday.

So I circle back to my original question - I’m still not sure why you all are here and following along. Maybe you’re waiting for me to write the perfect post that summarizes your situation to send to a loved one struggling. Maybe you’re trying to build up the courage to reach out about your situation. Maybe you’re just waiting to see if and how I crash and burn (people are weird sometimes).

Whatever you’re here for, just do it. When it comes to solving the problem with alcohol, the first accelerant that you can provide to the healing process is to engage with another alcoholic that has found the solution. They can connect with you about the struggles, the mindset and the thought pattern. But then they can do something that no professional and no loved one could ever provide who is not an alcoholic - they can inject hope into your life.

Hope that there might be a day, if they accept their alcoholism and put in the work, that their lives too may be enriched in a way that they cannot fathom as they sit in the depths of their despair.

So send this newsletter or post to that person in your life that you’ve been thinking about. Reach out to me or any other alcoholic who has found the solution. Don’t just sit there.

You can also “like” this post to give it more love and reach on the Substack platform!

That’s all I’ve got.

Oh and for all of you who are just sitting around to see if this clown show goes up in flames, sorry to disappoint. I already told you I’m taking this thing Forrest Gump style and I’m going to just wrap things up when I feel like I’m done running.

Kyle