The First Laugh
The moment a salty, alcoholic sailor reminded me how good it feels to be alive
“You gotta ask Pete about the coffee.”
I looked up to see Jack, a man I had only known five days since he checked into rehab, exhale deeply and wipe the tears away that were streaming down his face as he maneuvered into a seat behind me on the bus.
Right behind him, Pete threw himself into the seat next to me. Alcohol and a life at sea had weathered Pete. He spoke with a strong stutter as a by-product of his years of drinking that often caused him to close down conversation in frustration. Through broken sentences over the past ten days Pete showed me how tough men can still have a caring heart.
I could tell something was stewing in him as he sat with his left fist clenched staring at the back of the seat in front of him.
“Go ahead, just ask.” Jack encouraged me from behind with a nudge on my back as he picked up on my hesitation.
“Pete,” I spoke reluctantly, not knowing what was to come, “how was the coffee at this meeting?”
Pete’s head snapped over and his eyes bore directly into me.
“That fu.. that… that…” Pete was growing more agitated at his failure to produce words.
He tried a different approach, “He… he… brought…”
Still the words wouldn’t come to him.
Sensing his frustration, and knowing the punchline, Jack spoke up from behind.
“The guy was walking the coffee around to give people refills mid-meeting,” he exhaled, still catching his breath, as I glanced to see Pete at a near boiling point of rage at the retelling of the tale.
“Pete extended his hand with his coffee mug in it and for some reason the guy set the hot pot of coffee directly on Pete’s extended hand like his hand was some pot holder and just rested it there.” Jack unsuccessfully held a spurt of laughter back before starting back in, “And what did you tell him when that happened Pete?”
Without hesitation Pete screamed, “GOD DAMN IT ASSHOLE THAT FUCKING HURTS!”
The words hung in the air between us all as Pete’s eyes were lit with a fire from the recent memory.
I felt something well up deep within me and come skyrocketing to the forefront of my consciousness. I controlled none of it after witnessing Pete’s outburst and beautifully perfect string of sailor approved cuss words. A burst of laughter erupted uncontrollably from us all.
Pete’s head snapped around, confused at the outburst from those of us around him who had heard the story.
“Pete.” Jack said from behind me as he wiped away new tears running down his face, “You didn’t stutter.”
In an instant Pete’s eyes changed. The confusion and anger that had been there were replaced with a sparkle as a smile cracked his saltwater-leathered face. He began to laugh. His laughter fed ours, which fed his back again. Suddenly people were gasping for air and everyone was wiping away tears. I felt a joy within me and lightness in my heart that I had not felt for years.
The bus doors closed and the engine fired up. The residual laughter would come forth quietly as each person replayed the event in their mind. Pete’s smile could not be wiped from his face.
Finally, after a deep exhale someone said the thing we were all thinking.
“Man, it feels good to be able to feel something again.”
Life moves fast. Don’t forget to laugh along the way.
Keep showing up,
Kyle Layne Zibrowski